Discipline Isn’t My Answer
A client said something to me recently that made me pause.
“You’re so disciplined,” she said.
She meant it as a compliment, and I received it as one. But I also pushed back because I don’t think of myself as disciplined.
I don’t white-knuckle my way through early mornings. I don’t force myself to do things I hate. I don’t subscribe to hustle-for-hustle’s-sake.
Instead, I’ve built routines—small, intentional ones—that make me feel better, move me forward, and (this is important) that I actually enjoy.
Discipline Sounds Rigid. I just do The things …
The word “discipline” often conjures up images of willpower, suffering, and pushing through resistance. It sounds like something you have to do.
But for me, the magic comes not from gritting my teeth—it comes from designing a life where the things I want to do are also the things that help me become who I want to be.
Yes, I move my body almost every day — because it makes me feel good and I do activities I love.
Yes, I keep promises to myself around my writing — because I love to write, even though it is hard.
Yes, I go to bed early and get up early — because I love the peace and productivity of those early morning hours.
But none of this is about being "disciplined" in the traditional sense. It’s about choosing actions that feel aligned with my values, my energy, and my vision.
Start With What Feels Good (and Repeat It)
Here’s the shift: Instead of asking yourself What do I need to force myself to do?, ask:
What’s one small thing that feels good and moves me forward?
What’s a practice that energizes me instead of drains me?
Where am I already consistent—and can I build from there?
We’re so quick to make change hard. But what if sustainable growth lives in ease, repetition, and joy?
Rituals Over Rules
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself as a founder, a creative, a leader—or just a human trying to live well—is to trade rigid discipline for meaningful ritual.
Discipline might get you to the starting line but routines and joy are what will keep you coming back.
A major caveat
This doesn’t mean it is always easy. This doesn’t mean there are days when it is hard to get out of a nice warm bed at 5:30. This doesn’t mean that heading into the gym and getting started isn’t challenging sometimes (it is challenging most of the time). But I don’t wait until I feel like doing the things, I just do them. I get started and usually getting started is all it takes.