2 Soul-Sucking People You Need to Avoid

Years ago, I read a novel about vampires and demons.

In this story, demons were beings who fed on drama, intrigue, and the suffering of others. The smart ones chose professions that gave them a steady diet of emotional upheaval—homicide detectives, emergency room doctors, crime reporters. Their needs were regularly met by the natural chaos of their work, so they functioned fairly well in the world.

But the other demons—the ones without a reliable source—created their own unrest. They stirred up trouble wherever they went, compelled by a kind of drama addiction.

The vampires? They needed to suck the life out of others to survive. Some had their appetite under control and could take just a sip here and there. Others, though—once they started—drained their victims completely.

I don’t remember much else about the book, but those two archetypes stuck with me. Because demons and vampires, though not supernatural, live among us.

For a long time, I thought drama just followed certain people. We all know someone who’s constantly caught in some crisis. And yes, sometimes that’s a result of bad luck or difficult circumstances. But often, it’s something deeper. Some people crave drama—and will unconsciously create it if needed. Like the demons in the book, they move from one crisis to another, seemingly allergic to calm.

You can spot them by the litany of dramatic events in their lives, by how their eyes light up when recounting those stories, or by how they seem uncomfortable when things are too quiet. Sometimes they even self-sabotage to stir up the chaos they need.

Demons can be fun. They’re often funny, sharp, full of wild stories. But be careful—because if you step into their whirlwind, you risk getting caught in their storm.

Then there are the vampires—the people who drain your energy. They do it subtly: a partner or parent who belittles you in quiet, consistent ways. A friend who talks only about herself, leaving no space for you. Anyone who leaves you feeling depleted, small, or vaguely worse after spending time together.

Vampires are trickier to spot. You have to tune in to how you feel after you're with them. Some people leave you lighter, happier, more energized. Vampires leave you tired, off-center, or sad.

Demons and vampires will come and go throughout your life. They might be a neighbor. Or the parent of one of your kid’s friends. A sibling. A colleague. A mother-in-law. Friends who constantly complain about their husbands, jobs, or children. People who can't stop gossiping.

So what do you do?

It would be easy to say: don’t let them in. But that’s not always possible. Some of these people are fixtures in your life.

Managing your demons and vampires requires three things:

First, see them clearly. They will not change. Your mother won’t stop criticizing you. Your sister-in-law won’t step out of the drama tornado she created. That mom at school won’t stop gossiping. It’s not about you—it’s about them. Trying to change them will only leave you drained.

Second, protect your space. Remember, a vampire can only come into your house if you invite her. You get to decide how much time, energy, and influence they get. Set the boundaries that preserve your peace.

Third, don’t take it personally. The criticism? The drama? The gossip? None of it is really about you. It’s about how it makes them feel. They act the way they do because of their needs, their patterns, their discomfort—not because of something you’ve done.

Sometimes, you can choose to keep demons and vampires out of your life. Other times, you can’t—or choose not to. Either way, recognizing them, setting strong boundaries, and remembering that their behavior is not about you will help you stay grounded.

Don’t get caught in their drama. Don’t let them drain your light.