What if Fear Isn’t the Best Motivator?

When I was a teenager, my dad used to bribe my friends and me to stay home on a Saturday night.

"Hey kids, how about we order pizza? Chinese food? Should we make a fire in the fireplace and you guys can just hang out here?" he'd say.

It was a lovely gesture — and honestly, it often worked. My parents worked hard to make our house a place where my friends were always welcome.

But the truth is, these warm invitations from my dad came in large part from a place of fear. He wanted us home, safe in the living room. He didn’t want us out on the roads, at parties, or anywhere he couldn’t protect us.

I was raised to believe that fear is the best motivator.

Fear of not having enough money keeps you in a secure job, even if it means doing work you don't love.

Fear of getting fat keeps you from eating the Oreo.

Fear of not being liked keeps you from being the person you truly are.

Fear of slick roads keeps you home after dark.

But what if fear isn’t actually the best way to make decisions and to live your life?

What if making smart, intentional decisions is important, but so is accepting that we can’t protect ourselves from every risk? What if I was taught to overindex on safety and security?

People who know me well would probably describe me as a risk-taker.

I left a successful legal career to launch an entrepreneurial journey, a path we all know is littered with risk. I've never shied away from showing up as the fullest expression of the person I was meant to be. I ski, I hike, I travel. I lift heavy things over my head. I’ll even occasionally chase an overhead lob to the baseline in pickleball.

But every single one of those choices came against a backdrop of fear.

Every leap required a gigantic personal pep talk — and a heavy dose of what’s the worst that can happen? thinking.

As I step into the next chapter — working with people who want to break through the fear and doubt holding them back nad as I put myself squarely back on the entrepreneurial path, building something from nothing — I’m asking myself a different question:

What if fear isn't the best motivator?

What if joy, optimism, and hope for the future — even in deeply troubled times — are better motivators?

What those things are the real fuel we need?