Should I Drink The Coffee?

Every Sunday morning, you’ll find me at my favorite table at my favorite coffee shop, doing what I call my Sunday morning planning. It’s my ritual, the one that grounds me for the week ahead (I’ve written about it before, if you’re curious you can find that post here).

By now—three years into this ritual—I know most of the baristas, and they know me. They know my usual Sunday order: small, dark roast, black please. That first cup is one of my greatest pleasures. Honestly, thinking about it is often what gets me out of bed on a Sunday morning.

This morning, though, when they handed me my cup, I took a sip and discovered it wasn’t black. It was milky.

And so came the question: Should I just drink the coffee?

On the one hand, it wasn’t what I ordered. It wasn’t what I wanted. Asking for what you want, especially when you do it kindly, is not being demanding. It’s not rude, it’s not entitled. It’s simply honoring what you want.

On the other hand, did I care enough to ask? It was a summer Sunday in the Hamptons, which means the coffee shop was filled with entitled, aggressive weekend people. Did I really want to be one more person “complaining”? And truthfully, I sometimes drink my coffee with milk. It’s not like I despise coffee with milk. It just wasn’t what I wanted.

This, I realized, is the real question: not should I drink the coffee, but how much do I care?

The truth is, sometimes you should speak up. You should ask for what you want, and you should do it with clarity and kindness. And sometimes, you should let it go. Drink the coffee, enjoy the moment, move on.

The key is that you get to decide.

That’s the real power. Not in whether you drink the coffee or not, but in knowing that the choice is yours.